Winterval Greetings

By Humbuggery

I hear that Boris has cancelled Christmas. Well, good. Finally, the oppressors are oppressing themselves, which is the good news. As my contribution to dancing on the grave of Western culture, I would like to offer my personal thoughts on a common dirge often sung at this time of year, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay

God: the epitome of the patriarchal hegemony over our culture; the dominance of a toxic masculine fantasy projected onto an imaginary being. Of course, there’s no objection to replacing it with Allah, for example, which doesn’t have the same connotations, as all Muslims are victims of Western oppression.

rest ye merry gentlemen: Where to begin? The archaic ‘gentlemen’ is a giveaway that this song derives from a time when the patriarchy was a colonising power, so they needed to hide their crime by referring to themselves as gentlemen. Anyway, there is no such a thing as a gentle man, as all men are born abusers – unless they’re a trans man, of course, because they are really…forget that, I meant a trans woman,.…Anyway, the songwriter has no right to demand rest for these oppressors, who are no doubt merry and worn out on account of abusing women and minorities; it’s the victims who need a safe space to rest.

Remember Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas Day

Remember: Do I detect a hint of ableism and disphobia here? The patronising microaggression directed to those more intellectually challenged to “Remember” that Jesus was born on the day that we celebrate his birth. Or is this the reaffirmation of the colonising of the tradition of worshipping Sol Invictus on the 25th December by the Christian Church?

To save us all from Satan’s pow’r
When we were gone astray

Satan’s power: Interesting, isn’t it, how Satan is always associated with the ‘dark’ side? Contrast that with the ‘white’ Jesus and the picture of the ‘white Christmas’ and you can see how racist Christmas is. As power is all in the hands of white people, the idea of ‘Satan’s power’ is just a ruse to cover up their white privilege.

Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

In Bethlehem, in Israel
This blessed Babe was born

In Bethlehem, in Israel: News for you, Bethlehem is not in Israel, it’s in the Palestinian territories, soon to be a Palestinian state; that is if the American and worldwide Jewry’s claws can be loosened from propping up the reactionary state of Israel. So, these words are clearly meant to bring “comfort and joy” to the Zionist settlers who intend to colonise the whole of the Palestinian lands.

Babe: I can’t believe anyone is using such sexist and misogynist language anymore.

And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn

blessed morn: Blessed morn!! Typical of the privileged to romanticise poverty, degradation and oppression. Single mother, sleeping rough, being called in for an interview with the welfare or the law!

The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn

The which: Spelling mistake, obviously, trying to cover up the patriarchal oppression of all women by labelling them as witches, so they could torture and burn them, or as prostitutes, which they accused Mary of being, so they could write them out of history and then reinstall them as icons of the male gaze.

Did nothing take in scorn: You bet, she didn’t. They say ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’, but that’s nothing compared to the fury when the patriarchy is challenged.

Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

tidings: The only tidings you’ll be getting is the tide of righteous anger that is rising and will sweep away your oppression.

Oh, and Happy New Year, by the way

About the Author

Don Trubshaw
Don Trubshaw is a co-founder of the website Societal Values. He has a PhD in the philosophy and sociology of education and teaches in Higher Education.

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