“I’d like to check out today,” announced Alice to the hotel receptionist who greeted her with a fixed smile. “I trust everything was to your…

“I’m sure that is Humpty Dumpty sitting atop that wall,” Alice thought to herself, espying him from a distance. As she approached she remarked out…

One morning Zarathustra was after his usual fashion preaching in the village square when he was disturbed by a voice from a heckler from the…

Zarathustra resolved to choose twelve disciples that he might send them forth to preach in his name. But lo, he saw that the village was made up of simple working-class people who did not have the benefit like himself of a degree in postmodern studies with a major in critical theory. So he chose from among them a multiracial group, which is to say in its politically correct definition a selection excluding any persons who could be construed as racially white, because he was aware from sociological research recently reported by Zoe Williams in The Guardian that there is no such thing as white working class, except insofar as it is characterised by a racist attitude.

Thus do I speak unto you in parable, ye who preach against EQUALITY! Scorpions are ye unto me, thou secretly alt-righteous ones! But I will…