In Londonistan did Kubla Khan A Low Emission Zone decree And sacred solar panels ran Through suburbs measureless to man Though it rained endlessly * ‘ERE, YOU BLOODY NONCES. GET OUTTA THE ROAD. I’M TRYING TO GET TO PORLOCK FOR AN IMPORTANT DELIVERY… Jesus, what is it they want now? Ah fink it’s them Distinction… Continue reading In Londonistan did Kubla Khan
It was some weeks since Ziggy had been out for a drink with his friend Zara (aka Zarathustra, the postmodern-day prophet of renown) and he had been looking forward to indulging in some stimulating discussion about their favourite topic, namely the foibles and failings of celebrities (particularly of the political variety) who had been in… Continue reading Disparage the Farage!
We pick up our story of Alice and her princely husband-to be (formerly known as the Red Knight of the Looking Glass Kingdom) on the day of their nuptials, which we left them at the end of Part 1 looking forward to and making plans for. As expected by her (now) mother-in-law the Red Queen,… Continue reading Alice’s Honeymoon Comes to a Premature End
It had been a long journey and it seemed to Alice so long since she had first stepped through the Looking Glass into the new world that lay beyond. But here she was finally at the eighth square. She threw herself down to rest on a lawn as soft as moss, with little flower-beds dotted… Continue reading Alice at the Palace
Captain’s log Stardate 76342.1; We are proceeding through the Orion nebula system, having just emerged from warp drive. The crew are in good spirits and looking forward to the festive season; The crew are putting up the seasonal lights and streamers in the bridge, much to Spock’s consternation…. Cap’n, ye have tae see this. A… Continue reading Hurtling to Oblivion
HelloandwelcometoanotherliveepisodeofTheStarsatNightwithmePatrickMoore. Myguestthiseveningisnotwithusinbody [S**t, Patrick] butverymuchinmind. ThereasonisduetothecutsattheBBC – tofundwokehistoricalre-enactments [Cut, for f**k’s sake] – thatthespacededicatedtoscienceprogrammes istoosmalltofit hisentourage. No, it’snotBrianMay, whoiswithusinthestudio (althoughwedon’thavemuchroom formuchelsethanme, [Right] Brianandhishair), buttheheir [Groan] toNewton, thepresentLucasianProfessorofMathematicsatCambridgeUniversity, Professor Stephen Hawking, whojoinsusonline. WelcomeStephen ………..It’s-a-pleasure-to-be-here-Patrick Youareofcoursefamousforthebook ABriefHistoryofTime, which, I understand, tieswithUlyssesasbeingthemostpopularbookthatnoonehasread [S**t, Patrick] ……….Yes-that-is-correct……….the-nature-of-time-is-very-complex……….very-few-people-understand-it……….perhaps-only-Einstein-and-myself-have-understood-it Andyet youwroteabest-sellingbookaboutit ……….Well-Patrick…………I-needed-a-way-to-fund-my-entourage-and-addiction-to-advanced-voice-simulation-technology…………Ha ha! Stephen, can I ask you a question? ……….Yes-Brian……….By-the-way-my-wives-and-I-enjoyed-your-series-on-Wonders-of-the-Universe Er,… Continue reading The Stars at Night, Episode 51: Cosmic Symmetries
“That was a lot of fun.” “Absolutely!” Thus began the conversation between the two young men who had just installed themselves with a couple of pints of ale in the corner of the Horse and Guardsman public house in Whitehall not two minutes down the road from Trafalgar Square where the victory parade of the… Continue reading When the Lionesses Roared
“Ziggy appears to be in surprisingly ebullient mood tonight,” thought Zara as he perused his friend’s countenance over the top of his pint glass. This was in sharp contrast to his own mood which had been consistently quite disconsolate since the recent deterioration in his financial situation, which meant he had to choose between paying… Continue reading Partygate: Where Will It All End?
[Trrrrr] Allo; This is Sergei; You know me from your televisors If you xaven’t forgotten me already [Click] I started the veek as a cuddly stars of TV advert Life was simples Aall I had to do was to turn up to verk in my pyjamas and be myself Now I find maayself an international… Continue reading Sergei Plays Russian Roulette
Crickey, this omicron business is coming at a bad time of year, although a good time for me. Let’s me sweep that business about parties during last year’s Christmas lockdown under the carpet. Did you know that they deliberately passed over the Greek letter Xi, which should have been the next in line for naming… Continue reading Boris cleans up for Christmas